I don't like labels, unless they're designer.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

Didn't you miss me? Don't lie. I know you did.

I'll be upfront and honest. I took a month and a half hiatus from veganism. It did not fare well. I realized I don't even really like meat, so why was I eating it? And every time I did I pictured all the horrible images from Food, Inc. and felt quite guilty about myself. However, this is not why I have re-veganized myself. Along with all the guilty feelings came my sicknesses. They came back in full force times 5,000 of whatever they used to be. It sucked. I'm not happy. And now I'm a vegan once again.

This is not to say, though, that I'm not going to have happy eggs every once in awhile. I think having the proper amount of protein consumption is essential and I have a tendency to not get enough when eating vegan. It was also the deal I struck with the madre to have her back aboard the vegan train. I think seeing how sick I got when I stopped with the veganness was enough to get her cheerleading for the campaign. However, she did now warn me not to go and carboload like all those other vegetarians and vegans and gain tons of weight. Thanks for the warning, madre.

And while some of you may now say that I'm not a true vegan if I'm occasionally eating happy eggs, that's fine. I don't really like to label myself a vegan anyway. The madre told me I would be considered and omnivore if I eat eggs (looks like somebody was doing some research). But I have yet to eat eggs since I reveganized and I don't think I'll really eat that much of them anyway, so I don't know that I'd call myself an omnivore either. Maybe I should change the title of my blog to "The tales of the sometimes vegan." We'll see. I really just dislike labels in general in all aspects of life, unless they happen to come on shoes or purses and bear some sort of fancy designer's name. In that case, I love labels.

My first week back to veganism was not without some drama. We had friends up to visit this weekend and we went to Restaurant Row for dinner. After wandering for a bit, the huz was annoyed and chaperoned us all into a Chilean restaurant. There was not one thing on the menu that was vegan happy. I was going to just sit and enjoy with everyone, but then it was discovered that there was nothing I could eat and a nice little hub-bub occurred and we created a little scene and left the restaurant. Luckily, I found out my friend was not impressed by the menu and also wanted to leave (and, by default, her huz therefore wanted to leave, isn't that the way marriage goes?) so I didn't feel as bad. We ended up at a Thai restaurant and ate like kings and everyone was happy. Gotta love Thai for all of the vegan happy options you can find there. Plus, a free appetizer with every cocktail? What other restaurant does that? Love.

My house had also unfortunately lost a lot of its vegan friendliness over the last month and half, so the huz and I did a major shopping trip to Fairway yesterday to stock up. Love that market. Look at my lovely kitchen table now! I've decided I must always have a fresh fruit bowl full to the brim in my house from now on. It just smells so good and looks so pretty!

I'm excited for all the fun recipes I'm making this week. Tonight is homemade falafel. For lunch today I made an almond butter, strawberry and soy milk smoothie. Delish.

All in all, I'm glad to have returned from the dark side. I even kinda missed this blog. :)

Cheese is a gateway drug.

So as of yesterday, I would have said being a vegan was a piece of cake. (And obviously I would mean a vegan-friendly piece of cake.) But today, it was rough. I've made it a month (I missed my anniversary! Sadness...) with no issues, but not anymore. We went out to brunch in Hanover Square with friends to finally get our 'H' date done since the weather was too ick to make the drive to the Hamptons. This brunch turned out to be quite a boozy brunch. Loooove the all you can drink $10 champagne special. The restaurant obviously didn't know who they were dealing with when they decided upon this marketing campaign. Soo, two bottles of champagne later, it was very very hard to resist the cheese the restaurant smeared all over my otherwise vegan happy potatoes. I miss cheese. I miss milkshakes. I miss whipped cream. I miss all things cow related. However, I was still a good little vegan and gave the yummy cheesey potato goodness to the huz and got yet another veggieburger for brunch. I sense a pattern forming...

For dessert the huz and I split a banana and Nutella crepe which was crazy delish. Buttttt, like everything else delicious, I came home to find out there's freaking MILK in Nutella... Something else delicious I have to cross off my list. I'm wondering if I can find a recipe to make a vegan friendly Nutella....

So I suppose I technically cheated today. However, my philosophy is if I didn't know there was milk, egg, etc. in it, it's ok. I just won't have it again from there on out. I guess today was my farewell party for Nutella. I'll miss you more than you'll know, yummy hazlenuty deliciousness...

Thank goodness champagne is vegan friendly otherwise I might actually die. No, really. I'd die.

But the good news is, the champagne did wear off (is that really good news, though?) and I am no longer so obsessed with my cheese cravings.

Have you ever noticed that though? We all crave dairy products like we're strung out on coke. We all assume that dumping cheese on a meal will automatically make it more scrumptious. Why is this? Why are we all soooo obsessed with cheese? Might I even say we're addicted to cheese? Yes, I might.

We are all totally addicted to cheese. There's a protein in all dairy products called Casein, but it is found in a more heavily concentrated form in cheese than in other dairy products. And... "Opiates hide inside casein, the main dairy protein. As casein molecules are digested, they break apart to release tiny opiate molecules, called casomorphins. One of these compounds has about one-tenth the opiate strength of morphine" (healthdiaries.com). So in other words, cheese is a gateway drug. We're all freaking addicted. You better watch out. The next step might actually be you sniffing a line in a dirty NYC bathroom...


But now it makes perfect sense to me why I don't miss eggs or meat in the slightest, but cheese makes my mouth water and gives me horrible cravings. I'm an addict.


The same is also true of a protein that's found in gluten. It also causes addictive behaviors. I love how the two food groups I'm not supposed to eat, gluten and diary, are the two food groups that are actually addictive. It's like God is punishing me for all the times I've told smokers that they need to stop whining and quit smoking already. I'll take this moment now to apologize. Addiction sucks, even if it is only to cheese and gluten. I totally feel like a junkie who is way overdue for a fix...


But, the good little vegan that I am is resisting. When I first read The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone, I remembered her saying that there would come a time when we all missed the food so much that we would debate going back to eating the animal nasty foods. She recommended we reread the section in her book where she outlines all the junk that goes into our food and all the horrible treatments the animals go through to become our food. It was a good suggestion. I am totally back on the bandwagon. 


I am no remembering that when I sat down I totally meant to write this post about a yummy pizza and tofu "mozzarella" sticks that I made the other night... I was obviously sidetracked. Maybe the champagne hasn't really worn off yet... 

Enough with the dreams already.

So this time I had a genuine nightmare. Nothing comical about it.

I dreamt that I got accidentally pregnant and it was a very unwelcome pregnancy because I hadn't "gone through the motions" that the huz and I agreed would be necessary before attempting a vegan pregnancy.

After the aforementioned discussion where my mom tried to scare me out of veganism by threatening deformed babies, the huz and I decided that if I wanted to be a vegan while pregnant, we would have to be very smart and careful about it. (And PLEASE do not read this the wrong way and start asking me twenty questions about our growing family. We have no plans to have kids and certainly do not want them for ages. Ick.) However, we still discussed what our plan would be and decided that when we are ready, I'll go to the doctor and get some bloodwork done to make sure that all of my chemical and nutritional levels are where they should be and then I'd work with a nutritionist to ensure I'm getting all the proper vitamins and minerals while preggo. This may sound like a lot of work, but I really can't imagine eating meat as I get queasy just considering it now, so it's what must be done to be a responsible preggo vegan.

So anyway, in my dream I got knocked up by accident (by the huz of course) and was very shocked/upset to discover this condition. I was totally freaked out to tell the huz because I knew he'd be ticked that we hadn't "followed the plan." So then I started debating whether or not I should keep the baby since it would probably be deformed due to my lack of nutrition, and then I got extremely upset because I could totally never abort a baby. This is when I woke up.

Like I said, nothing comical about this one... I think it does show that my mom's tactics did get to me. I've always found pregnancy pretty freaky to begin with (Something growing inside of you?? Haven't we seen like fifty science fiction films with this plot? They never end well...) and now it freaks me out even more... However, this does add to my arsenal of why it's necessary for us to wait to have kids. I'm too freaked out.

I really don't think it'll be an issue though. I eat much healthier and much more balanced now than I ever did before. I plan out my day to insure I'm getting the right intake of all the food groups (minus meat and dairy obvi), pay attention to my amino acids and take daily vitamins to keep my B-12 up. These are all things I never bothered with before.

However, I do have to say that I am slightly disappointed with my vegan diet. Yes, watching Food, Inc. did push me over the edge to embark on this journey, but it was also partly done for health reasons. The good news is, my stomach problems have totally disappeared since I began eating vegan. The bad news is my hives did not. I've now been tested for every allergy ever and they've all come back negative, except for apples. Of course of all the things I'd definitely be allergic to, it had to be my favorite fruit, which happens to be in EVERYTHING! I'm not pleased.

It turns out I must have a "sensativity" to something which "unfortunately cannot be tested." In other words, the doctors told me they're idiots and have no idea what's up. I so need to go on an episode of House. Dr. House would totally know what the dealio is. I'm so glad I've drained myself of all my blood for testing over the past few years to discover my 'sensitivity' to who knows what.

But the worst of it is, they assume the sensitivity is indeed to gluten. In other words, this may be my last blogpost because I am soon going to starve to death. No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no gluten? Boo. Huge sad face. I don't miss the meat, dairy, or eggs (ok, maybe occasionally the dairy) but I freaking looooove gluten-filled carbolicious foods. I have heard this is a direct result of my Finnish descent. We were programed to crave carbs to plump us up for the winter when food would be scarce so that we could survive to the next spring and summer. I like this explanation better than saying I lack all self-control or willpower to control my bagel cravings.

So anyway, I'll keep you posted on my slow descent into starvation. I had a bagel this morning at Starbucks. I decided I needed one last farewell gesture. And of course, I now have hives on my eyes. I think most people assume the huz beats me. It gets that bad. Luckily, huge granny sunglasses are totally in in New York, especially when inside. (Don't you know your cool factor raises 10 points if you wear your sunnies inside? Of course you didn't, you're not from New York.) so I just walk around in those all day and people assume I'm too important to make eye contact with them (which is also obviously true).

I have no fun pictures for you this post as I have been totally lazy and getting salads out or not making fun recipes from scratch. I did, however, make the Gardenburger Blackbean Chipotle burgers that I blogged about a few posts back. Woah nasty. I hated them. The huz loved them though, so I guess that just goes to show you how completely unrefined his palate is. Just kidding. Love the huz.

Tonight I'm going to search for another fun quinoa recipe to make and well let you know how it goes tomorrow. That is if I actually bother to cook tonight. Don't hold your breath.

I think I'm being subconsciously tortured.

So I had a nightmare about eating meat last night. No, seriously.

I can't remember anything else, but I was at my parents' house in their old kitchen before it was remodeled and I was standing there with someone (I think it was my Nannie??) and I was munching down on a yummy slab of roast beef (which is super awkward because I've always hated it and would never eat it even when devouring innocent animals was totally my thing). So I was eating around the outside of my slice of roast beef where it was well done; then I got to the middle where it was pink and bloody. We'll call it medium-rare. That is when I flipped out in my dream because I realized I was eating meat and had a total spaz and my Nannie let out a very horrible, evil laugh. Then I woke up. The end.

I may actually be traumatized from this horrific experience.

I'm going to blame that episode on being super cold because we turned the air conditioner on for the first time last night and it blasts right on my head. It is a proven fact that if you're cold, you're more likely to have nightmares. You can quote me on that.

Beside my nightmare, I almost starved to death this weekend. Some friends came to town and we went out to a super cute restaurant, Good, in the West Village. However, I don't think there could have been a less vegan-friendly place in all of the city. One of my friends came to my rescue and told the waiter I was a vegan (which I am realizing is an important thing to do when eating out... there seems to be animal byproducts in everything). So then at least the waiter was on board helping me find something that worked for my diet.

At first I thought I'd get the carrot puree soup. But no, it was made with chicken stock. Then I thought I'd get the hummus. But no, they mixed in parmesan. After that, all that was left was olives (I ate two bowls almost and got effing oil on my pretty red dress which is totally their fault since they didn't have non-oily vegan-friendly fare. Good, we aren't all good. That's all I'm saying.) and the side dishes. So finally I ended up with a dinner of grilled asparagus, sautéed zucchini and steamed green beans with pesto. However, this was only another disappointment as the pesto also had parmesan in it... boo. Sooo my lovely expensive dinner consisted of: olives, zucchini and asparagus. It was yummy, but horribly balanced. There was no vegan-friendly protein... I have a feeling this will be an issue many times over when moving forward. Moral of the story: tell waiters you're a vegan so they can help and carry trail mix or a vegan-friendly snack so you don't wither and die when there's nothing you can eat.

The next morning, we all went out to brunch at a diner. It was then I realized brunch is the least vegan-friendly meal EVER. Pancakes? nope. Waffles? nope. French toast? nope. Omelets? nope. Eggs? nope. Bacon? nope. Sausage? nope nope nope. All that was left for me was toast sans butter. Or possibly hash browns depending on how they're cooked. And although I did just register for the marathon, I seriously don't think I need to go and carboload on bread and potatoes. Sooo, I ended up getting a veggieburger for brunch. It did not look appetizing at all. Picture a teeny, tiny bun (most likely made to suit little elfin hands or else the non-existent appetites of the women on the Upper East Side) and a huge fluorescent green patty. However, I was a good sport, so I dumped a ton of ketchup on it and went for it. Interestingly enough, it was really quite delicious. The fluorescent green actually came from super scrumptious lima beans. Who would have thought? I used to hate those things so it was a very exciting discovery. Very exciting indeed.

So yes, I almost starved to death this weekend. But as you can see, I somehow managed to survive. You're lucky I have such a fight in me.

When I went to eat my breakfast this morning, I noticed a horrendous oversight in my grocery store's labeling abilities.

They're lucky I have the smarts and can read labels and know that my organic Weetabix is actually all yummy grains and totally animal-nasty free. However, if I was a slightly less smart vegan, they may have lost $5.89. That would obviously have gravely affected their profit margin for the day. Who else in my area is going to spend $6 on a box of straight-up wheat? My point exactly.

On that note, I'm off to bed. Pray for no more meat-consuming nightmares. They scare me.