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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I plead insanity.

So apparently I'm going insane.

No, that's not referring to my tenure as head juror the past two weeks (although my fellow jurors are worse than my fourth grade class last year with their bickering). No, that's not referring to my job (or lack thereof). No, that's not referring to the zoo of animals I keep in my house.

That's referring to what my mother told me on the phone this afternoon.

I'm going insane.

Or so said a random gastroenterologist she met at a dinner party this weekend. Apparently, it "just came up in conversation" that all vegans eventually go crazy. His theory was that as we vegans don't get all of our essential amino acids, our brain chemistry slowly starts to shift. It happens so gradually we don't even notice. Telling my mom that she could keep her eyes out for me and let me know once I start going insane and that I'd eat a steak didn't help either... "By that point, it'll be too late!" says she.

My mom also had another wonderful revelation from this conversation. "So when you see all these weird vegan people and think that they're crazy, they actually are! They're going insane!" Wonderful. Thanks random gastroenterologist for all your fine help and medical advice.

It was at this point that I discussed with the madre that I am taking this quite seriously, read about it all the time, and plan my meals to be sure I get all my essential amino acids in during the day. If anything, I eat much more balanced now than I ever did. However, she says her great worry, as always, is child birth. (Somebody's a bit desperate for grandkids, I'd say.) She told me to consider myself like an old cut down tree. I have all these "health" rings inside me that I'm building up now. It's not just my health when I'm pregnant, but my health history beforehand.

I told my mom gracias, but I think her career with analogies is over. No girl wants to be compared to a tree trunk.

However, that's not what I actually said. I agreed with her that it's smart to keep an eye on my health and promised to make an appointment with a nutritionist. It definitely couldn't hurt. And then at least the madre will have no ammo for calling me insane in the future... or at least no ammo stemming from my diet.

So last night I made my vegan yum pizza again, so I guess I'll finally blog about it. I just bought a vegan friendly crust from the store, coated it with olive oil, spread spicy tomato basil sauce all around, sprinkled garlic powder and red pepper flakes all over then added a whole bunch of veggies such as red and green pepper, onion, broccoli and eggplant. (Italian eggplant no less. I like my veggies like I like my men. Foreign.)

Then I dumped a bit more sauce on the top, a bit more garlic powder then baked it at 450 degrees for ten minutes or so.

Super easy, super delish.

You can feel free to add any sauce or toppings you please, as long as they're vegan friendly of course.

So I guess that's all for now. Maybe tonight I'll have another fun nightmare to blog about that involves my vegan tree self being chopped down for sprouting insane sprigs or leaves... We'll see. One can only hope.

1 comment:

  1. "I like my veggies like I like my men. Foreign."
    i laughed out loud, like for real...